a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
