What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
ugly people sure do ruin things
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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