Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
