Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize