In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
