How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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