Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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