what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
