matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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