hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
