He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
