even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize