you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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