If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
