How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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