maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
