we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
