This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
