Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
