yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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