ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
