So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
