Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
