In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
