It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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