she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
