That's intense
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The air was thick with penises
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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