i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
