im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
