Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
