Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
