So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
