I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
