Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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