Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
