whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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