so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
