I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
