i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
