whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
