forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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