I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
