That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
