I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
