the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
