hotel room ftw
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
