I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
