Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
