If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
why do cheetos always look like penises
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
