i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
