Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
