Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
