belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
be right there i have to get my cape
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
