I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
