I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
