Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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