My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
