Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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