I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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