I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
