I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
