marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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