You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
