sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
